Stories from The Tower

Yesterday, I got to work as the Dungeon Master at Medieval Times. What the Dungeon Master does is answer questions about the dungeon (museum of torture) and make sure people pay to get in to see the dungeon i.e. collect their dungeon passes which cost $2 each. One unique thing I bring to the job as Dungeon Master is I have some knowledge about the various tortures in the dungeon (no, I've never actually used anything like them, I'm not into it that much!). I can also tell folks stories I learned from the Yeoman Warders at the infamous Tower of London.

The Tower of London has serviced as a royal fortress, observatory, treasury and most infamously as a prison for high ranking prisoners. It is as a prison that it is most famous though it also houses the crown jewels.

The Yeoman Warders are a special unit of retired British military personnel who guard the Tower and the crown jewels. They also take part in special ceremonies involving their sovereign from time to time. They are also known as "Beefeaters." They received that title possibly because at time, one of the things they received for doing the job was a large ration of beef (source: wikipedia). One of the things the Yeoman Warders also do at the Tower is give free tours every half hour. The Yeoman Warders give the visitors a choice of a dull boring tour or of the terribly bloody gruesome tour. Visitors invariably take the terribly bloody gruesome tour. The Tower has plenty of such stories. Here are few stories I remember hearing from the Warders. However, not all of them are terribly bloody and gruesome.

Duke of Monmouth

The Duke of Monmouth was an illegitimate son of Charles the II who felt he should be king vice Charles brother James I. He raised an uprising in Scotland which was quickly crushed. He was summarily brought down to London, stayed one day in the infamous Tower and then was beheaded. It was only after they beheaded him that they made a terrible discovery. They didn't have a portrait of the Duke. They decided they had to rectify this even though the Duke was dead. What they did (and this is gruesome) is sewed his head back on, put a frilly thing around his neck to hide the stitches and painted his picture. It is hardly surprising that the Duke looks very grim in his portrait.

Ravens of the Tower

It is said that if the ravens of the Tower of London ever leave that the Tower and the monarchy will crumble and fall. The British, not wishing to take any chances, had the wings of the ravens who live at the Tower clipped so they can't fly away. Because of this and the excellent care the ravens receive (they have a special Yeoman Warder who serves as Ravenmaster and who feeds them beef daily), they live far longer than wild ravens. The normal lifespan of a raven is only 7 or 8 years. One raven at the tower lived to 52 years of age. Now, there is a tradeoff the ravens pay for this posh life. All of you of virgin eyes please don't read this next part. Do you know how ravens have nookie i.e. sex? They do it while in flight. Don't ask me how they do it in flight but they supposedly do. One problem with having their wings clipped is that the poor though well compensated ravens at the Tower of London can get any nookie. It is the sad but necessary (if the Tower and Monarchy are to remain standing) price they pay for the good of the country. However, the birds are well compensated as you can see.

Murdered Princes

The Tower has seen a number of foul or tragic deeds. One of the worst was the murder of two young princes. They were the sons of Edward IV (I think that's the right number, there have been a number of Edwards.). One of them was in fact the king but being king when you're only 9 or 10 years old was very dangerous thing back in those days. Unfortunately for the young princes, Edward's brother decided to take the throne for himself. The princes were placed in the Tower and after a while, no one ever saw them again. No one knew what happened to them though when their uncle had himself crowned as King, they were certainly dead i.e. murdered. Years later, the princes' bodies were found in the Tower. They remain some of the more tragic figures from the history of the Tower.

Queen of Hearts

Wanting to end this blog entry on a nice note, I will know tell you the story of the Queen of Hearts you see in your deck of playing cards. The story goes that Edward IV had only one surviving child who was Elizabeth York. Henry Tudor of the Lancastrian line defeated her uncle who had become Shakespeare's infamous Richard III in the battle of Bosworth Hills. Her uncle was also slain there. Henry subsequently claimed the throne and became Henry VII. In a desire to unite the two royal houses, he married Elizabeth York. In an unusual case, the two actually fell in love after their marriage and were supposedly devoted to one another. Later, Elizabeth died though not before having at least two children Arthur and Henry (of Henry VIII fame or infamy depending on what your thoughts are on what he did with his various wives). In mourning for his beloved wife, Henry ordered that the face of his dead Queen be used as the face of the Queen of Hearts in all decks of playing cards. A memoriam of sorts if you will. So, if the story is true, the person's face you see on the Queen of Hearts is that of a tragic girl who's brothers were murdered but became Queen and found love before she died. A happy ending to a harrowing young life.

And, there'll I end my stories I learned from the famous Yeoman Warders. If you ever visit London, make sure you see the infamous Tower of London and catch their free tours. The Warders are really great and they do tell some fascinating stories about the Tower. Cheers!